Belonging

One of the number one reasons parents get their young children started at daycare/preschool is socialization. They also want their kids to be able to make friends and socialize with others outside of their homes; but mainly they want their little ones to learn socially acceptable behavior in the form of good communication skills, sharing, taking turns, emotional regulation, conflicts, etc. It’s definitely important that children socialize and learn many different social skills, but before we think of socialization, I believe we should seek something completely different for our kids first. What children need is a true sense of belonging. By nature, children seek to affiliate with others and form long-lasting bonds with different people, especially other kids. When children are deprived of their sense of belonging, it has negative consequences for their well-being and development. Children who feel like they belong will form deep connections, friendships, and strong bonds. They will learn a lot about themselves through others and are able to connect in deeper ways through relation, empathy, and understanding.

For me, there are several aspects, or even steps, that contribute towards a child feeling like they belong.

Successful Transition

If we want a child to feel like they truly belong, I believe a proper transition over several weeks is necessary. The child must be given the time to be able to adjust to a whole new setting before they are able to feel comfortable enough to truly connect with the environment.

Eating

When a child belongs they like to eat. In my program, I provide breakfast, snacks, and beverages. I have a little buffet set up and the children pick what they like to eat. The kids like to help themselves, and even others, by serving food and getting water. They are free to take their meals/bites whenever they want to, but they mostly prefer to eat and snack together. Their independence, and them being in charge, matter a lot to them.

Play

Children easily find exploration and play, and have a favorite toy or activity, when they feel comfortable. While in the beginning, they often prefer to play by themselves, over time they build connections and are interested in playing with others.

Friendships

Through interaction and play children get to know each other, connect, and form friendships. The more they are able to play with each other the stronger their bonds grow. Good friends are like home, and that makes children feel like they belong.

Pick-up

A child that belongs is content at pick-up time. A content child shows that their needs are fulfilled and that they were able to express emotions and handle the dynamics.

There may be other aspects that contribute to a child’s feeling of belonging, but those are definitely the most important, in my opinion. When children feel like they belong, when their needs are fulfilled and they can rest in their own self-worth, they are able to learn… not only to socialize but in so many ways. Creating an environment for children where they can belong was one of the most important aspects of creating my program, and I believe it’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Children deserve to be understood, acknowledged, valued, and have their needs taken care of. Creating something like a second home is inevitable when we think about how much time children spend outside of their homes in the care of others. Creating belonging isn’t something that’s the cherry on the pie, it should be the basis of the whole program.